Strength

So my big brother posted this on facebook this morning... and then I reposted,and an awesome friend of mine shared it as well... so I saw it three times in my feed and I couldn't help but spend some time thinking and reflecting on the statement.

In the last few years I've had the "opportunity" to gain some strength this way whether I wanted to or not.  Life puts obstacles in the way for all of us sometimes...it's just the nature of living.  There were many times I thought there was no way I would get through to the other side of a situation at all, much less a stronger, happier, and a better person.  But I assure you it happens.


I can remember the day very clearly where I had to let go of my mom, and I had to find the words to let her know it was ok, that I would be ok, that dad would be ok... and I wasn't sure I believed any of those words that somehow in the moment I needed them came out of my mouth clearly and without quivering.  I just didn't know how I was going to face the world without my best friend, I didn't know how I was going to get myself through it much less my pop. I didn't know how I was going to give her eulogy and convey exactly how special she was with just my words.  I didn't know how I would get through the day without being able to pick up the phone to call her just to touch base.  I didn't know how I was going to do a lot of practical things either... like make sure my pop made it to all his doctors appointments or ate healthy (Hah!) or didn't go out driving on an icy night when he shouldn't.

I can also remember not that long ago thinking that I didn't know how to live on my own.  Or that I wasn't sure "alone" was something I could emotionally handle.  In the first 35 years of my life I never spent even a week living alone.  I didn't know how to do it without mom and pop there to tell me I could do it, that I was strong, and tough, and that this new chapter of my life would be better than I could imagine.  In my head I knew I had all the skills to do it...but I was still scared, self doubting, unsure I could be happy.

On a lighter note I wasn't sure this girl could ever be a runner of any sort... after all I didn't run my first mile without stopping until I was in my mid-thirties and I'm sure it looked pretty ugly by the end!  But like most other things I find that if I put one foot in front of the other... things just happen.

So today I look back at these things and smaller things like accomplishing something new at the gym, picking up a new hobby, achieving a goal at work and realize that I do (and we all do) have what it takes to get things done that we didn't think were possible.  There's an inner strength in me that sometimes I forget is there...and there is an amazing group of people in my life that fuel that strength and confidence when I struggle with being able to do it for myself.

So whatever it is, however physically hard and grueling or emotionally brutal it seems - know that it can be done. Find a way to tap into the inner strength, and let others help, always let others lift you up when you need it.  There is no weakness in sharing the weight on your shoulders with the people who love you.  And my newest mantra... challenge yourself and let others challenge you.  I'm looking at you big brother.. and your Warrior Dash invite.

It's on :-)  

Librarian Confessions

I was inspired by this page of hilarious librarian confessions: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2447492/Anonymous-librarians-confess-breaking-rules.html

Here is my personal top ten list:

10. I don't read nearly as much as I should, or want to, or people think I do.
9. I tolerate way more noise than most librarians would appreciate but it's still fun to shush people once in a while.
8. I may know people personally, you know - like the back of my hand,  who have ripped library cds.
7. I read library books in the bathtub.
6. My dog chewed up a library book.
5. I read 50 Shades of Grey, and I didn't hate it.
4. I once led a book discussion and had read the wrong book.
3. I read all of the Twilight books and I am admittedly Team Jacob.
2. If I don't have a book mark handy I dog ear pages of books, though never any of my John Greens.
1. I only read the first Harry Potter and decided that was enough for me.

Fangirling: Thoughts on Books made into Movies

So I'm super excited that The Fault In Our Stars movie has a set release date now... and I'm definitely going to be one of the first in line to see John Green's brilliance (I might be a super fan) come alive on the big screen -- but I definitely understand those that are reluctant to see it (or any movie based on a book for that matter).  There are lots of reasons for this, I certainly have an image of what the characters look like in my head for any book I read, and their world develops down to tiny details all in my imagination with the help of an authors careful word choices...reading a book is a complicated relationship, a give and take between the writer and the reader.  We all bring different backgrounds and experiences to the table shaping our vision of any given book. So what happens when a director, and a group of actors don't envision the story exactly as we do?  Is part of the magic taken away, or do we have a gift in front of us that is the ability to see someone else's private interpretation?

I already said I'm going to see the movie, and I've proudly proclaimed to the world on facebook (that's the whole world right?) that it's the most anticipated movie for me ever... for once I get to feel like a fan girl! I've always felt like I was missing out when friends were so excited to see the latest superhero movie or epic fantasy and now I get my moment of being "a rabid breed of human female who is obsessed with either a fictional character or an actor" according to Urban Dictionary.  

My only hesitation is that these words I've typed below will somehow not make it to the film in their entirety or that somehow their wisdom and beauty will be lost...here are a few of my favorite quotes from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.  If you haven't read the book yet... I don't care if you're young or old, nerdy or cool (and aren't they the same) you should read some John Green :-)

My Top 5 Favorite Quotes from The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

5. “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”
4. “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
3. “That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt”
2. “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
1. “As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”