Book Thoughts: Wild by Cheryl Strayed

 

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed

I read this book simply because it seemed like an entertaining book about hiking... and as an unlikely serious hiker myself, about to attempt the Inca Trail, I thought it would be a fun (and maybe informative) read.  It was all of those things, but I didn't realize when I checked this book out of the library that it would also strike a cord with me on other levels.  I identified with Cheryl from the first few pages and while I never engaged in the kinds of destructive behavior she does while facing grief and uncertainty I certainly felt her pain as she described nightmares she would wake up from, or the feeling of loss of control after losing her mother and her family essentially falling apart.  I cried with her and laughed with her and was proud of her (and maybe a few times questioned her sanity but I'm sure people question mine sometimes too).

Definitely recommended reading, if you're a hiker or not, the story is about the journey both physical and emotional.  Definitely worth the read.  And if you're the kind who likes to read books before you see movies definitely give it a go because the movie is slated to be released sometime in 2014.

P.S. Here's hoping my Inca Trail comrades and I are more prepared than Cheryl was... plus... you know, we'll have a guide and each other.  After all, this girl is afraid of the dark... and the dark alone in the wide open wilderness... no way :-) 

2013 Wrap Up- Better Late Than Never?

Well just like my Christmas cards - my end of year blog post is running a little late.   But it will be completed before those cards will. Though I did buy some Happy New Year cards which are now also out of date that I still plan on sending maybe in March(ish).

So my Owning 2013 list had a few items that didn't get done: 
1. Read Rebecca
3. Take a Dulcimer Lesson
4. Paint a painting
5. Put together granny squares of moms into throw blankets
6. Back the quilt top mom finished
7. Ride in a hot air balloon
8. Learn tatting - complete a project
14. Watch Casablanca
18. Ride a mechanical bull... someone out there recently said this was on their list too.. speak up and let's get it done :-) 

Some of them I've added to my Rocking 2014 list and others I've decided are really OK for me to just let fade away into the sunset...

More importantly I did do a lot of awesome things in 2013 -- some from my list and some just because.  I've taken up hiking to prepare for an epic adventure to Peru in the spring, I shot a gun for the first time, I read some awesome books, went on an incredibly fun and relaxing vacation with the Florida branch of the family and just learned to relax and enjoy life a little more (I'm still working on this... most of my friends would probably say my worrying level is still a bit high on some sort of scale of how much normal, well adjusted, people should worry but progress is progress).  I also added an adorable bundle of fur to my life and made quite a few new friends and spent quality time with old friends and family.  Oh and I saw a ton of super fun concerts with an awesome partner in crime :-) Not too shabby really. I'll take it.  

So a couple favorites from 2013:

Book: Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell granted I didn't get much reading done this year but this would have been a stand out no matter how many books I read.  My short review of it was: simply beautiful, great, writing.

TV Show: Walking Dead -- it's really the only thing I watched regularly.  I've also recently started House Of Cards and I'm enjoying that too.  I've learned setting and action/plot aren't really what drives my watching.. as long as there is character development and relationships to follow I'm good with zombie guts or backroom politics :-)

Movies: I don't know if they were a 2013 favorite for me but I did finally see the original 3 Star Wars movies thanks to some very persistent friends.. and I think that's notable :-) 

Songs:
I have so many favorites from this past year but I'm especially fond of these 3
Compass by Lady Antebellum
We Were Us by Miranda Lambert and Keith Urban
Drink a Beer by Luke Bryan  

I can't get through this verse without tears:
Funny how the good ones go
Too soon, but the good Lord knows
The reasons why, I guess

Sometimes the greater plan
Is kinda hard to understand
Right now it don't make sense
I can't make it all make sense

-----------------------------------------------------

I had lots of changes in 2013, and change is a good thing, so world - feel free to keep bringing it :-)  And I'll keep trying to keep my head above water and have some fun and make some memories in the process.  Happy New Year everyone... only a month and a half late :-)




 

Five Poems

So I had a to-do item on my Owning 2013 list to write 5 new poems... well I didn't get it done yet but I'm going to rectify that with some awesome haiku :-)

1.
Two Thousand Thirteen
was not so very awful
wine makes it all good

2.
I got a kitten
call her badness and stink bug
and sometimes Margo

3.
Didn't read enough
adult books to make my goal
read kids books instead

4.
my kitten is cute
then she tries to eat my nose
then she gets time out

5.
I can be quiet
sometimes but usually
means I'm in a funk.

6.
I can also be
loud.  like crazy awesome loud
more often than not

And I wound up writing 6... will make up for all the other stuff I didn't do... right?  right?  :-) 

So many things to be thankful for...

So I dropped the ball with posting something I'm thankful for every day on facebook... so I thought I would give a few things the attention they deserve... I still might not do it justice but here goes...

1. I'm thankful for my family.  Young and old far and wide, those I talk to every day and those I touch base with just once in a while, all are important to me.  Families aren't ever perfect and that's what makes them beautiful. Every family is different and I happen to think mine is spectacular, each member individually awesome.

2. My parents - I still feel them with me everyday because our bond was so strong, and for that I am forever thankful.  When I'm having a rough day I can hear my dad saying "chin up, kid" and I can almost feel my mom brush her hands down my hair like she would do when I was sad.  My tough side (which sometimes hides) comes from both of them... I think the word feisty could be used for either one.  When I need to channel my "inner feisty" I just think of them and my backbone gets a little stronger :-) My mom had spunk and my dad had a bravery that I think is unmatched, and they both had an awful lot of love to give.

3. My friends -I have awesome friends that I've known for 20+ years and awesome friends I've known just a few months and I am thankful for every single one... They are a support system that I don't even begin to know how to be thankful enough for. When I lost my parents and found myself on my own again in what felt like rapid succession I thought I would feel a bit like an orphan and alone in the world.  But I was wrong.  Through every crisis I've ever faced my friends have been there to encourage me, make me laugh, dry my tears, feed me Hoffman's milkshakes and literally hold me up if I needed it.  Not a single one of them ever lets me forget who I am and that I'm tough enough for whatever life throws at me.  They're also good at being silly, going on adventures, challenging me to get out of my comfort zone, eating sweets, drinking wine, having fantastically inappropriate conversations and just plain ridiculous fun! I *am* one lucky girl.

4. My health - I've worked much more on this in the last few years, realizing that mid-thirties is probably a good time to start taking better care of myself (ok mid twenties or earlier might have been a better idea).  I'm thankful I have the energy to do fun things. I'm thankful that my body proves me wrong when my mind says "I can't" and I think it's been fun challenging myself in new and different ways whether it be by trying a new food that's healthy and delicious or by taking up a new hobby (I'm aching to try some trapeze work after the Pink show last night!)

5. My path in life... This is really overarching but I like where I am today, and who I am today and so because of that I need to be thankful for every step that got me here.  Even the ones that made me angry or sad. I was blessed to have a childhood that gave me a solid foundation for life- for all of the experiences and opportunities my parents and organizations like 4-H gave me during those years. I'm thankful for college where I learned to love poetry and art and to think about the world in a different way, and I'm thankful for the sometimes rocky path I've had as an adult when I've felt like a new crisis was being slung at me on a regular basis. I'm thankful for my career which lets me use my brain to solve puzzles and lets me be around awesome coworkers and customers everyday. 

6. Tough times - This is going to sound crazy.. but more than once recently I've caught myself saying "you've had harder days than this - this is nothing - you can get through it".  I'm sure there are tough times still to come.. maybe even tougher than I've already dealt with but I know exactly which days and moments have been my toughest so far and when I think I'm having a rough day I can look at those and know that I'm on the other side of them now and whatever is going on shall pass too.  Tough times make for a tougher Jen :-) but never a less sensitive or caring Jen.  So for that I am also thankful.  

AND THE TOP TEN SILLY THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR:

1. Coffee
2. Chocolate
3. Kittens
4. Baby Goats
5. Hot baths
6. Good wine
7. Warm blankets
8. John Green Books :-) OK that should have been on my main list!
9. Songs that make me dance in the car
10. Songs that make me cry in the car

Strength

So my big brother posted this on facebook this morning... and then I reposted,and an awesome friend of mine shared it as well... so I saw it three times in my feed and I couldn't help but spend some time thinking and reflecting on the statement.

In the last few years I've had the "opportunity" to gain some strength this way whether I wanted to or not.  Life puts obstacles in the way for all of us sometimes...it's just the nature of living.  There were many times I thought there was no way I would get through to the other side of a situation at all, much less a stronger, happier, and a better person.  But I assure you it happens.


I can remember the day very clearly where I had to let go of my mom, and I had to find the words to let her know it was ok, that I would be ok, that dad would be ok... and I wasn't sure I believed any of those words that somehow in the moment I needed them came out of my mouth clearly and without quivering.  I just didn't know how I was going to face the world without my best friend, I didn't know how I was going to get myself through it much less my pop. I didn't know how I was going to give her eulogy and convey exactly how special she was with just my words.  I didn't know how I would get through the day without being able to pick up the phone to call her just to touch base.  I didn't know how I was going to do a lot of practical things either... like make sure my pop made it to all his doctors appointments or ate healthy (Hah!) or didn't go out driving on an icy night when he shouldn't.

I can also remember not that long ago thinking that I didn't know how to live on my own.  Or that I wasn't sure "alone" was something I could emotionally handle.  In the first 35 years of my life I never spent even a week living alone.  I didn't know how to do it without mom and pop there to tell me I could do it, that I was strong, and tough, and that this new chapter of my life would be better than I could imagine.  In my head I knew I had all the skills to do it...but I was still scared, self doubting, unsure I could be happy.

On a lighter note I wasn't sure this girl could ever be a runner of any sort... after all I didn't run my first mile without stopping until I was in my mid-thirties and I'm sure it looked pretty ugly by the end!  But like most other things I find that if I put one foot in front of the other... things just happen.

So today I look back at these things and smaller things like accomplishing something new at the gym, picking up a new hobby, achieving a goal at work and realize that I do (and we all do) have what it takes to get things done that we didn't think were possible.  There's an inner strength in me that sometimes I forget is there...and there is an amazing group of people in my life that fuel that strength and confidence when I struggle with being able to do it for myself.

So whatever it is, however physically hard and grueling or emotionally brutal it seems - know that it can be done. Find a way to tap into the inner strength, and let others help, always let others lift you up when you need it.  There is no weakness in sharing the weight on your shoulders with the people who love you.  And my newest mantra... challenge yourself and let others challenge you.  I'm looking at you big brother.. and your Warrior Dash invite.

It's on :-)  

Librarian Confessions

I was inspired by this page of hilarious librarian confessions: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2447492/Anonymous-librarians-confess-breaking-rules.html

Here is my personal top ten list:

10. I don't read nearly as much as I should, or want to, or people think I do.
9. I tolerate way more noise than most librarians would appreciate but it's still fun to shush people once in a while.
8. I may know people personally, you know - like the back of my hand,  who have ripped library cds.
7. I read library books in the bathtub.
6. My dog chewed up a library book.
5. I read 50 Shades of Grey, and I didn't hate it.
4. I once led a book discussion and had read the wrong book.
3. I read all of the Twilight books and I am admittedly Team Jacob.
2. If I don't have a book mark handy I dog ear pages of books, though never any of my John Greens.
1. I only read the first Harry Potter and decided that was enough for me.

Fangirling: Thoughts on Books made into Movies

So I'm super excited that The Fault In Our Stars movie has a set release date now... and I'm definitely going to be one of the first in line to see John Green's brilliance (I might be a super fan) come alive on the big screen -- but I definitely understand those that are reluctant to see it (or any movie based on a book for that matter).  There are lots of reasons for this, I certainly have an image of what the characters look like in my head for any book I read, and their world develops down to tiny details all in my imagination with the help of an authors careful word choices...reading a book is a complicated relationship, a give and take between the writer and the reader.  We all bring different backgrounds and experiences to the table shaping our vision of any given book. So what happens when a director, and a group of actors don't envision the story exactly as we do?  Is part of the magic taken away, or do we have a gift in front of us that is the ability to see someone else's private interpretation?

I already said I'm going to see the movie, and I've proudly proclaimed to the world on facebook (that's the whole world right?) that it's the most anticipated movie for me ever... for once I get to feel like a fan girl! I've always felt like I was missing out when friends were so excited to see the latest superhero movie or epic fantasy and now I get my moment of being "a rabid breed of human female who is obsessed with either a fictional character or an actor" according to Urban Dictionary.  

My only hesitation is that these words I've typed below will somehow not make it to the film in their entirety or that somehow their wisdom and beauty will be lost...here are a few of my favorite quotes from The Fault in Our Stars by John Green.  If you haven't read the book yet... I don't care if you're young or old, nerdy or cool (and aren't they the same) you should read some John Green :-)

My Top 5 Favorite Quotes from The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

5. “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.”
4. “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
3. “That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt”
2. “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
1. “As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”