Mother's Day

There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my mom.  Sometimes a silly story or warm memory will pass through my mind like a gentle breeze, leaving a quiet smile on my face for a few seconds in the middle of my day and sometimes the missing her is so sudden and intense that my eyes fill with tears before I even manage to grasp what's going on in my mind.  But the missing her all means one thing to me: that I had a beautiful, loving, wonderful mother.  There isn't the tiniest bit of me that doesn't realize that I am blessed to have had the relationship with my mother that I did and that's not to say it was perfect.  We certainly had our moments of anguish and disagreements that are a part of every relationship -- but there was not a day, hour, minute or even second in my life where I did not know 100% that my mother loved me with her whole heart.


I sometimes let emotions get the best of me and feel like I was cheated somehow, and that it's unfair that I'm a fairly young adult without my parents there to guide me through life, lending a listening ear, and loving arms to fall into when I feel like my world is falling apart.  But then I remember their love, I remember their resiliency in life and all that they taught me and all of unending warmth and support I felt and still feel over the years and realize that not only do I still have them with me but that they also gave me everything I need to get through. I know the words of comfort or encouragement they would give me and I can hear them in my mind in the moments when I need them most.

I know it sounds cliche, but my mother was truly the best friend I could ever ask for.  I'm sure some people would find it crazy how much I talked to my mother... often at least two or three times a day.  She's the person I'd call with a quick little silly story or simply to say good morning and also the person who talked me through several middle of the night heartbreaks.  I am blessed that I probably talked to my mother as much in the 32 years I had with her than some people do in 90 and because of that she is so vividly still with me.

So while the pain of taking my mother flowers to the cemetery on Mother's Day is still aching in my heart hours later, and while I wished with every fiber of my being today that I could have wrapped my arms around her in a tight squeeze and lifted her off the ground and spun her around like I was known to do sometimes -- I also know that the missing her and the sadness is because I was loved and she was loved and because we had a bond that was so special to us.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's out there and especially to the one I consider the best in the world :-) Love you mom <3