Carroll County Fair

There are some things in life that come to define who we are... that somehow make up the fiber of our being.  This past week I was reintroduced to a place that did and still does mean so much to me and that played such a pivotal role in my life.  When I pulled onto the Carroll County Fairgrounds on Friday afternoon at about 2:00 o'clock I suddenly felt a sense of coming home.  It didn't matter really that so much has changed aesthetically- from the way you enter the parking lot to the new, modern buildings.  Enough of the place was the same.  There were still 4-Hers scurrying from their cars proudly carrying their projects to the "red building" so they could nervously stand in front of a judge and get feedback on their hard work.   There was still the kitchen with its home cooked meals where I used to sit and eat breakfast with my dad as soon as they would open in the mornings but usually after he had already made a pass at the exhibit halls with the broom making sure they were ready for the day.   This kitchen is also where Mandy and I would squeeze in last minute studying for the consumer judging contest over tacos and laughter.  There was still a feeling of community as new 4-H moms asked for directions or help deciding which class their child's project should be entered in.  

I remember very clearly the visit to the fair when I was 7 (almost 8) years old.  My parents, brother and I took a fateful walk through the rabbit barn that would change my childhood.  We met a kind woman named Mrs. Jo who would introduce me to my first 4-H project, a Dutch rabbit named Buddy.  From here we would join the 4-H Rabbit Club and not long after - the Deer Park 4-H Club.  It probably seemed like such a small thing to her at the time, chatting with a little girl and her family and introducing them to 4-H and this may sound like I'm exaggerating but that moment was the start of an incredible journey for my family and I.  4-H wasn't just a club that my parents dropped me off at once a month, it wasn't just a place for me to learn to sew, or bake, or take part in community projects.  4-H was something we did as a family.  It gave us time together to learn as a family and to be a part of a bigger family.   Every summer that first week of August my parents would take a weeks vacation to help me get all of my projects to the fair, and often this meant staying up with me until the wee hours of the morning while I sewed on buttons, or frosted a cake.  They both became heavily involved in the program over the years as well and were 4-H volunteers until each of them passed away.  I could go through a list of things that I learned on that fairgrounds from practical things about my projects to lessons about family, friendship, and even puppy love but I couldn't begin to put into words the most important way that place shaped my life but to try to put it simply it filled my heart with joy and warmth.

I knew going back to this place for the first time since losing my parents was going to be hard, and I knew the tears would fall as I pulled into the lot knowing it was my first trip back without either of them... but I also knew that I need to go and that in my heart of hearts I wanted to be there and continue in some way to be involved in the organization that meant so much to my family and I.  I had the absolute honor on Friday of helping to judge Jr Clothing entries (the youngest age group of 4-Hers sewing projects).  Sewing was always my favorite 4-H project and the one where my mom and I spent most of our time together, and my mother for many years was the superintendent of that department so it was extra special for me to be able to do this.  The Carroll County fair uses conference judging meaning each child walks up to the table with their project and as judges you get to talk to them about it, ask them questions about what their favorite parts of it were or hardest new skill was and offer any tidbits you might have to help them with their next project.  I remember this being very nerve wracking as a child but also very educational and often encouraging and I can tell you from the other side of the table it is equally rewarding.  I learned so much from the young girls and boys who shared their projects with me Friday afternoon and it was a true joy to get to do that with a woman who was my 4-H leader when I was a little girl and the mom of one of my best 4-H friends.   I also had the bittersweet experience of helping with the other judges to choose which child's sewing project would win the award that honors my mother: The "Make the Best Better Award", this award is given to a child whose project shows that they have much potential but could maybe use a little push of encouragement to be able to reach that next step.  I was so excited that one of the girls whose project I judged at my table and who I had the pleasure of chatting with about her love of sewing and the challenges she faced with the outfit she made was the recipient of this award.  I hope I'll get the opportunity to go back in years to come and see how she has grown and developed her skills.

I know on the surface I was going to volunteer at the fair and maybe give back just a little to the program that shaped me-- but truly being asked to do that was like an offer to to bring me back into that 4-H family where I knew I would feel love and where I might be able to remember fondly the times I spent there with my parents and while their absence was obvious and painful to me I also felt a closeness to them in that place that filled my soul with happiness.  So to Renee who asked me to help out in the Clothing Department this year, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

A facebook friend of mine posted today this status update: "Sometimes I wonder if these kids at the fair realize that this is one of the best times of their life" and the answer from myself and another former 4-Her was simple.. that they might not realize it now, but they will.